Someone made me angry last night. So angry that I can't sleep. I've been telling others that women are not made to wait for man, and I made a fool of myself last night.

Accompanied my popo to check up yesterday. Diabetes is very bad, not under control, and it's affecting her kidneys. Got a huge shock when I saw " chronic renal failure" . She's seeing a specialist in March. What the hell?????? They make it sound so serious and she's only able to seek help only a month later??!!!! FUCK.

I miss the carefree life in Taiwan. I miss travelling, wandering out in the streets alone.

Issue resolved. I love the talk that we had. I always believe in talking it out, now that I can see things from your point of view. It's not about you or me, it's about us :)

Love ya dear dear :)

Time has always been the issue and source of tension between us. Though the adjusting period is over, I'm not over this issue. Sometimes I just feel sad that I can't spend more time with you. Not that you don't give a damn. But it irks and anger me even more when all you say is " what to do?" Makes me feel like I'm thrown into this sea of sadness and anger and hopelessness and have no one, not even you to help. I understand that we can't spend as much time together as other couples do. But I want your attention in acknowleding this issue and not just shrug your shoulders and repeat that sentence.

And i feel that the lack of time together is a hindrance to the foundation of the relationship -- to understand each other better.

The fear of pain induces pain. But IT IS PAINFUL OK.

Paid a visit to the dentist yesterday. And guess what? I have 2 decaying teeth and a wisedom tooth that is a threat to the well being of my other teeth. One of the dacaying one is so bad that it has reached the nerve( pulp) and the dentist did a filling for me, but wanted me to be prepared for future toothache, then I have to decide if I want to do a root canal treatment ( freaking ex!) or just extract it. I almosted fainted when he strongly adviced me to pluck out the wisedom tooth. I was holding my face in my hands and told him I'm not mentally prepared. I want to DIE. FREAK. I was thinking if there could be a general anesthesia instead of one at the gum. I seriously was thinking of not doing what he suggested, and actually, I'm having the thought of ignoring it. But yeah, I know, better get it treated soon or I might need to go through more pain in the future. HELP MEEEEEEEE :(

On a lighter note, my prof seems quite pleased with my thesis. Which means I only have to do a bit of amendments and I will be ready to submit MY THESIS. Finally.

I still can't get over the self-induced, thought provoking pain. :( Just knock me unconcious and do whatever that is supposed to be done.

My dear gals, I'm meeting my prof tomorrow to discuss my first draft. Pray for me. Pray that he won't throw my thesis back at me and scold me for producing rubbish. My hands are cold and my heart is thumping right now. Will update you all. Love :(

Grad trip!!!!

YAY YAY YAY!!!!! Sq and I booked our air tix to Beijing !! Will be departing on 29th April!!!! WWOOHHOOOOOOOOOOO!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Grad trip grad trip here I come!!!! And Hui!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! We will travel together!!! So excited!!! I wanna go to tian an men and see mao's body and I wanna go Xi an to see the bing ma yong!!!! OH man oh man i can't wait!!!!!!!!!!!!

Module selection and registration is a pain in the ass. And it seems like I have quite a lot to clear as a Year 4 student. I just submitted my first draft last week, am super scared that he would reject and have lots to criticise..........praying hard..........

It's a blissful life

You know, as you grow older, things get tougher, but you learn to appreciate what you have in your seemingly unimportant life.

I still argue and quarrel with my mum very often, can't stand the way she puts up a foul mood as a protest to doing the chores ( having the delusion that no one helps her). But amazingly and ironically, I see myself in her. The short temperness, foul mood, the killer stare...... all in all, it comes in a package. And my father just told me that he feels damn shiok each time i quarrel with my mum, coz in a way or another, by out talking my mum, I'm helping him 出一口气。Funny and flattering, I was actually proud of myself a that moment :) Things can get rough with my mum, over the years and I believe, for years to come. But I'm somewhat glad that we aren't the mushy type, but Im hoping for less " foul mood" days to come.

And yes, I just bought a Toshiba laptop with my own money, oh man, it's my first laptop, MY, MINE, with my MONEY. I was telling dear dear I must make it last till the day we get married, to get my money worth.

And speaking of which, It was only yesterday that I realise what I have been taking for granted for the past 4 months. My Boyfriend. Don't worry, nothing bad happened :) Just that he spent the whole day and night, going to funan with me, checking for service repair for my laptop, went around shops to look for new laptops, then go back home, then went to funan again to finally send my laptop for servicing, then went to buy the new laptop (finally),went back my house to help me with the setup and left at 11pm. And he woke up at 6 am that morning for IPPT before meeting me. No words of complain, no hurrying, but advice, patience, technical knowledege( which i obviously lack), and love :)

So I say, I'm blessed :)

Thank you Dear Dear. And Happy Birthday :)

Happy New Year :) May this year be one filled with love and happiness :)

2008 was a recovery period for me, though painful and the seemingly never ending process, I survived. Now I can truely understand what they meant by-- what doesn't kill you makes you stronger.

And Im damn proud and glad that I went to Taiwan on the student exchange programme, it was indeed a once in a lifetime experience. Not only did I fulfil my dream of travelling and wandering out alone in a foreign land, I surprised myself with the inner strength and independence which I never thought I ever had. It was a journey of healing, self discovery,learning about the way of life, and most important of all, realising that love is all around :) Being away from home for 5 months has made homesick, and yeah, darn proud of being a Singaporean. Thinking back, life in Taiwan is ultimately relaxing and stress free, probably because exchange students like me aren't burdened with grades or whatsoever and what we do all day is plan for trips, go on road trips, play, enjoy, eat, immerse in the culture and way of life of the locals blah blah blah. I absolutely enjoy walking about Taipei on my own, visiting museums, taking pictures anywhere and everywhere, just time with myself and no one else. I think this further strengthens my anti-social-ness! Imagine what would become of me if i really decided not to go for the application blood test!!!! Can you believe I actually cried and told Hui I rather not go to Taiwan if I have to take the blood test!??!!!

Second half of the year was back in home sweet home :) Spending 5 months away from home has made me cherish my family more than ever, and yeah, i still quarrel with my mum, but yeah, the family has gotten closer :)

And yeah, DA MAN came along and was the ultimate antidote. He's accomodating, understanding, loving, caring, the ultimate perfect boyfriend you can ever ask for. :) I'm so blessed! :)

Praying for health and happiness for family and friends in 2009!